Methodology: I took all accounts that I follow that also follow me and saw if I could either remember a weird tweet or find one in less than two minutes. While this method certainly has flaws it’s really not much worse than any other for making lists. The order is just the order in my follows list.
Peter Spence @Pete_Spence
Tweets about weightlifting and brags about how fast he can brush his teeth. Don’t @ him.
@nntaleb How much do you deadlift, out of interest?
— Peter Spence (@Pete_Spence) December 4, 2015
The Thalesians @thalesians
Burgers and deliberately? awful puns.
— The Thalesians (@thalesians) November 17, 2015
Ipek Ozkardeskaya @IpekOzkardeskay
Opinions on the Davutoğlu dating service and her Draghi crush.
— Ipek Ozkardeskaya (@IpekOzkardeskay) October 29, 2015
Merry Cynic @MayfairCynic
Tweets about what’s on TV and the L’Oreal app.
Dammit, @ItsuOfficial gave me Earl Grey tea, not Peppermint… Woe is me!
— Merry Cynic (@MayfairCynic) January 7, 2016
Surprisingly passionate about rigcounts. Also owls and goblin’s blood.
CarstensPremium 2016 @adamcarstens
Twitter’s top source for Portland demographics.
Tweeted this and stayed off Twitter four months. Am still impressed.
Natalia Holman @Not_nutty
Rants and sex. Sometimes combined.
"The complexity of my thoughts couldn't be properly expressed in a 140#….so you're drunk and horny right now?"
— Natalia Holman (@Not_nutty) January 5, 2016
louise dickson @louisecdickson
Actually 100% serious account but reports on country governed by random weird stuff.
#PutinPresser - Blatter for Nobel Peace Prize - No solutions for handicapped, pensioners, truck drivers - But Navy can keep knives!
— louise dickson (@louisecdickson) December 17, 2015
Volatility Smile @volatilitysmile
Randomly starts talking about sex regardless of subject.
— Volatility Smile (@volatilitysmile) November 28, 2015
Steampunk. Bone broth. Has raced a helicopter on her bike.
steampunk-themed luxury development steampunk-themed luxury development steampunk-themed luxury development http://t.co/05Y6OGRHRW
— Shane (@shaneferro) December 2, 2014
Burnett Tabrum @BTabrum
Ancient relic. Disney princesses. The chocholate fountains at the extravagant birthday parties of the 1%.
The sadness in his eyes pic.twitter.com/ypTOYLcjU8
— Burnett Tabrum (@BTabrum) November 29, 2015
George Pearkes @georgepearkes
Tweets about the importance of hydration. Impossible to annoy.
<—– Consumed 80 oz of Gatorade/Powerade and half a gallon of water today. #MoarHydration
— George Pearkes (@georgepearkes) March 6, 2015
Colin Fitzgerald @colin93f
Random Irish kid. Tweets about liquid breakfasts and plans to become ECB president.
Grandparents shouting at eachother because they can't agree on whether they took the train or the bus on a holiday to Donegal five years ago
— Colin Fitzgerald (@colin93f) December 25, 2015
Brenda Kelly @Brenda_Kelly
Live tweets Christmas parties. Also about avoiding Holborn station and London tube gin drinking, not sure if related. Has strange Garth Brooks obsession.
— Brenda Kelly (@Brenda_Kelly) December 11, 2015
Ken Veksler @KenVeksler
Tweets about Crapenhagen and Norwegian Airlines.
Lady FOHF @LadyFOHF
Prepper. Tweets about how tall she is. Also woodland creatures and size of people’s feet. Livetweets baking and packing.
Current status. Now wine. pic.twitter.com/4E9k8OYfB0
— Lady FOHF (@LadyFOHF) January 8, 2016
Joseph Weisenthal @TheStalwart
Once double-ordered breakfast AND WE STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.
Accidentally double-ordered identical breakfast from @seamless. Wonder what's going to happen.
— Joseph Weisenthal (@TheStalwart) August 13, 2014
Anna H. @drlangtry_girl
Book recommendations. wolf repellant bells. Plans to be supreme ruler of the UK.
How on earth do you become a werehedgehog anyway? Hedgehogs don't bite.
— Anna H. (@drlangtry_girl) July 21, 2013
Previously Russian propaganda account. Recently it seems they have realized the ship is sinking and just sit around drinking and troll everyone including Putin.
— RT (@RT_com) December 1, 2015
Katie Martin @katie_martin_fx
Invented the vomiting camel. Tweets advice on when to buy gold.
— Katie Martin (@katie_martin_fx) May 29, 2015
Duncan Weldon @DuncanWeldon
Famous for binning an UNDERCOOKED turkey. Also remote controlled Star Wars toys.
"I think you just got stressed. It only needed a few more minutes. You shouldn't have binned it". My wife just now. Discussing the turkey.
— Duncan Weldon (@DuncanWeldon) December 25, 2015
Ken Tindell @kentindell
Heroically fights the establishment by drinking alcohol in a small town in England.
— Ken Tindell (@kentindell) January 1, 2016
Neville Hill @NevilleHill
— Neville Hill (@NevilleHill) July 9, 2015
Tweets about how many people have applied to follow his locked account. Also libel, Lewisham and croissants.
Frederik Ducrozet @fwred
Going to go early to bed to get ready for Saxony CPI tomorrow.
— Frederik Ducrozet (@fwred) August 27, 2014
Karthik Sankaran @RajaKorman
Explains current events by making analogies to the Habsburg empire.
Although history suggests murders of Habsburg Archdukes cannot be contained, it also suggests suicides of Habsburg Archdukes (Mayerling) can
— Karthik Sankaran (@RajaKorman) June 28, 2015
Megan Murphy @meganmurp
Tweets about Travel Marmite. Also Star Wars. Claims to have lived in a fish bowl when she worked at fast FT.
OK so Frankfurt here I come. If there's news reports later of a drunk person trying to hijack/break into cockpit, blame the travel Marmite..
— Megan Murphy (@meganmurp) April 25, 2014
Prominent member of “You know who else” Twitter. Wedding vows Twitter.
A few bonus Vows for the Twitter crowd: two Real Jobs™. pic.twitter.com/DJWslZqgCW
— guan (@guan) January 11, 2015
Kate Mackenzie @kmac
Asks the tough questions about Australians that no one else dares ask.
Words Australians used to say (supposedly): Bonza Cobber Yakka ..are they still in use?
— Kate Mackenzie (@kmac) January 2, 2016
Geneva Girl @SardonicaX
Hedgestock, Moomins, fashion and her adventures in the local coffee shop. Also frog skeletons.
Morning side-eye as the barrista shamelessly flirts with every female that walks in. Admire his persistence pic.twitter.com/0W8V84tCFn
— Geneva Girl (@SardonicaX) October 17, 2015
Sander Wagner @sanderwagner
Origin of the term “Sanderwagner” for deleting a tweet. For some reason picked a photo of a young Stalin as avi. Whatever you do, don’t ask him if one can assign a probability to a singular event.
Lorcan Roche Kelly @LorcanRK
Volcanoes cows, tractors and trolling.
Bill, We will, Make you go, From Pimco. When you can us, I'll to Janus, When you do, I'll sue, As this coup Is about my bonus #poetryday
— Lorcan Roche Kelly (@LorcanRK) October 8, 2015
Princess Bride. Speculates about what jet fuel can and cannot melt. #Volettwitter.
I'm not sure I'll ever recover from the the continued desacralization of Princess Buttercup into some sort of Lady McBeth evil monster. #HoC
— zatapatique (@zatapatique) February 24, 2014