A hellmouth of debt opens in the Eurozone.
The Eurozone finds out that Greece has been lying to it. It’s furious: “Karamanlis got himself deeply into debt! He lied to me! He ran around behind my back and concealed debt with the help of Goldman Sachs!”
Olli Rehn appears demanding cuts everywhere “Where is my austerity! I need my austerity!”
“It’s horrible. That’s me in 2011? I’m so evil, and skanky”
For a brief period it looks like Jeroen Dijsselbloem might restart the euro crisis:
“Well, how about this? We whip out the ouija board, light a few candles, summon some ancient, unstoppable evil, say the Cyprus deal on bank rescues is a template. Mayhem, mayhem, mayhem.”
The eurozone gradually recovers in spite of the actions of Wolfgang Schäuble, who hypocritically insists that other countries should follow rules, while Germany should be free to ignore the Macroeconomic Imbalance Procedure.
Buffy the Eurozone has recovered from the dead, but somehow it’s not quite the same. She wanders off towards a closer union singing:
♫Sometimes I feel like I’m just going through the motions♫