Monthly Archives: April 2015

Buffy The Eurocrisis

Season 2008

A hellmouth of debt opens in the Eurozone.

Season 2009


The Eurozone finds out that Greece has been lying to it. It’s furious: “Karamanlis got himself deeply into debt! He lied to me! He ran around behind my back and concealed debt with the help of Goldman Sachs!”




Season 2010
s2010The Eurozone starts to recover, possibly with the help of José Manuel Barroso although no one can remember anything he said or did.




Season 2011

s2011_1The tentative recovery is brutally interrupted by two supervillains.

Olli Rehn appears demanding cuts everywhere “Where is my austerity! I need my austerity!”




Even worse, the ECB (guardian of the magic in the eurozone) turns evil and not only refuses to act as lender of last resort, but actively tries to destroy the eurozone by raising rates.






Season 2012
s2012The ECB regains its sanity and promises to do whatever it takes to save the euro. Although publicly silent in private it is horrified by its previous actions.

“It’s horrible. That’s me in 2011? I’m so evil, and skanky”





Season 2013
s2013For a brief period it looks like Jeroen Dijsselbloem might restart the euro crisis:
“Well, how about this? We whip out the ouija board, light a few candles, summon some ancient, unstoppable evil, say the Cyprus deal on bank rescues is a template. Mayhem, mayhem, mayhem.”



Season 2014
The eurozone gradually recovers in spite of the actions of Wolfgang Schäuble, who hypocritically insists that other countries should follow rules, while Germany should be free to ignore the Macroeconomic Imbalance Procedure.



Season 2015
s2015The eurozone is recovering. Sure new villains; Tsipras, Varoufakis and Kammenos (“We’re your arch nemesis-es”) appear, but they do not seem to be able to do much harm.

Buffy the Eurozone has recovered from the dead, but somehow it’s not quite the same. She wanders off towards a closer union singing:

♫Sometimes I feel like I’m just going through the motions♫